A letter to a thief

Dear miserable and pathetic thief
Why do you bring me so much pain and grief
I’m writing you this letter
It might give some relieve
Even though you don’t care
Because you don’t have any feels

I had it safe, I had it locked
And yet you have me sad and shocked
Because you mugged
me from my friend
And I’m not going to pretend
That this doesn’t suck

My noble steed, who helped me get around
Whom I loved so much and so profound
It always brought me home
after a night out in town

A quick move and a dick move
Before the entry of my house
A sneaky act of evil
While being quiet like a mouse

You probably sold him
For just a couple of bucks
And now you’re probably chasing more
While I’m chasing the bus

I don’t know your life
And I don’t know your pain
I don’t know why you take part in this game

But I hope you step on Lego
and that someone farts in your face
That you fall down the stairs and have your shoulders displaced.

That when you put on new socks
you step in something wet
I hope that when it’s your birthday
Everybody forgets

Why don’t you get a job?
Why don’t you get a life?
But mostly:

Why don’t you stay the f**k away from my bike!?

Biden
When you don’t see your bike in front of your house anymore


 

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